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2016 Home For the Holidays
LINCOLN DAILY NEWS November 23, 2016
No, the answer is to appeal to the male ego. To
lure a man into the kitchen an appeal needs to be
made to some of men’s more basic instincts: men
like to show off by lifting heavy weights, cutting
things up with sharp instruments, and working
around fires and flames.
Ugh!
Arrange the tasks ahead of time for the man.
Appeal to him to come into the kitchen and deal
with the turkey which is much, much too heavy
for you (that’s what you tell him anyway). Have
him get it out of the packaging, wash it in the
sink and get it into the roaster. You may have to
instruct him to pick it up off the floor a few times
but more washing can be done. Handling the
turkey may revive that deep male soul-memory
and instinct for working with the carcasses of
hunted animals.
Show him by example how he should stuff the
turkey by putting his clean hands inside the turkey
and filling it with a savory mix of bread and herbs.
Mmmmm!
Appeal to his senses by encouraging him to smell
and enjoy the stuffing. Finally, he can finish the
task by doing the heavy lifting to put the now-
stuffed turkey into the dangerously hot oven.
Phase 1 of training the man is complete.
Men generally have low endurance. So, after the
turkey training, the man will likely sneak out of
the kitchen and will be found somewhere in the
vicinity of the television. It’s ok, football isn’t on
just yet. Give them about a half hour’s rest and
then lure him back into the kitchen by asking him
to come and cut things up with sharp knives.
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