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Page 30 2016 Fall Home Improvement LINCOLN DAILY NEWS SEPT. 27, 2016
The Money Pit,
a
1986 comedy film
has achieved nearly
classic status, not
because it was an
especially good
movie, but because
it hooks into
several emotional
issues most of us
encounter. Themes
of marriage and divorce, unrealistic dreams,
unscrupulous professionals in “service” fields, all
intersect to have Tom Hanks and Shelley Long going
ever deeper into debt while being driven further and
further apart. Surely, you and your beloved would
not be trapped like this, . . . or could you.
In four decades of counseling couples I have
frequently seen marital crises occurring right at the
moment when the couple thought they were on the
threshold of “happily ever after.” Several faulty
assumptions recur:
1. A new or improved home will make our marriage
better
The improved setting may enable us to think we are
doing better, but it may really just briefly distract us
from our troubled relationship.
2. The right house or perfect remodel will bring
happiness
The fallacy of happiness through having the right
stuff pervades our culture and fires our economy, but
unhappiness persists.
3. I know what will make my partner happy
Acting on assumptions without consulting with our
partners often leads to costly bad decisions. The
assumption really says, “My partner will be happy if
I am happy.”
How to stay married while
doing a major renovation
By Dr. Paul Boatman
Continued ►