Page 12 2023 Home For The Holidays Lincoln Daily News November 23, 2022 yourself. Realize that merely “keeping busy” won’t distract you from your loss, it may do the exact opposite. Keep this holiday season as low key as you need it to be. Your family and friends will understand. Try to Resist Cancelling or Skipping the Holiday Altogether Keeping it low key doesn’t have to mean isolating yourself. There may be certain traditions you don’t feel ready to handle, and that is OK. Attend gatherings that you feel you can handle. If you go to an event and you don’t feel equipped to handle it, excuse yourself. Be aware that family members and friends who are also experiencing the same loss may have their own difficulties with certain traditions. Each person and the relationships that they have are unique. Give each other permission to grieve while trying to find a way to also celebrate. Externalizing your loss may help. Some ways to include your loss you are: a prayer before Holiday dinner, mentioning your loss, lighting a candle for your loved one, leaving an empty seat for your loved one, sharing treasured memories. Do What Feels Right for You Family and friends, though they mean well, may often try to tell you how should feel. Instead of going along with their plans, try to focus on what you want to do. Decide what family traditions you want to continue and consider new alternatives. Getting caught off guard may evoke feelings of panic, fear, and anxiety during the holidays and especially during grief when your emotions are already heightened. Ask yourself things like “who will be there?” how long will it last?”, Preparing yourself may make attending holiday gatherings a little easier. Embrace Your Memories Hold on to the memories that you made. Memories are one of the most treasured gifts we can give each other. Your memories may bring laughter and they may bring tears. The most important thing is for you to feel. Feel real, raw, honest emotions. Grief has been described as the price we pay for love. Allow yourself to feel the emotions. Memories of the person, pet, or relationship that you have lost were made in love, and love deserves to be felt, remembered, grieved, and celebrated. Avoid self-medicating with things like alcohol. If you find yourself needing a boost during the holidays, go for a walk, call a friend, cuddle with a pet, or even write in a journal. Try not to look down on those that feel a sense of joy during the holiday season. Just as you expect them to be aware of your feelings, you must do the same for them. Get Spiritual The holidays certainly bring about a sense of spirituality and faith. Surround yourself with people who share, understand, and respect your beliefs. You may want to attend a holiday service or a special religious ceremony. You may not feel ready to express your gratitude through faith and that is understandable too. It is very natural to feel that you may never enjoy the holidays again. Although your life will not be the same as it was before the loss, your faith may guide you to a new understanding of yourself, your loss, and of the holiday spirit. As you approach the holidays, remember that grief is both a necessity and a privilege. Allow yourself to grieve. Try to remember that grief is the result of giving and receiving love. Try Continued --
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